I haven’t been gentle with myself in the last year and a half. I ignored my body’s needs and I instead decided to live one of the most stressful  period of my life, eating way too much refined sugar and empty carbs, and not allowing myself to recharge and nurture my body and soul. I definitely diverged a little too much from my macrobiotic diet and lifestyle that has been supporting my mental and physical health for 14 years. It is what it is I guess and every experience, even the most awful, teaches us something important we need to learn or relearn in order to grow. And I did need a reminder.

It’s not that I don’t love myself. I do. But we, humans, are weird creatures. We all feel inside this longing for happiness but sometimes we try to find it in places where it’s not. In places that are toxic. I wintered enough. It took me almost three months to work on my grief and explore my sadness and understand it. I let myself really dive into what I was feeling, I accepted it, because I think in order to heal we need to face our feelings and feel fully.

Then last Monday, in the afternoon, I noticed a switch. Something was different. I think I am free I told myself. And like that… this winter was over. The few days after, I felt like a survivor of a terrible catastrophe. I was waiting for grief to come back because for three months I had to deal with it daily. But it didn’t. I will do better. I am committing to healing, to honor my body and spirit and to listen to their needs, to show up for myself

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